Between Gambia and The Netherlands: "I wouldn't want to miss it!"
Love took her to Africa, and since then she's been spending six months in the Netherlands and six months in Gambia. In the Netherlands, Barbara Somers is a personal development consultant at the Ministry of Finance, and in Africa she and her husband run a guesthouse that is not only popular among Europeans, but also has a local function. Leo Salazar, Senior Program Director Intercultural Training at De Baak, spoke with her about how her lifestyle affects her.
By Petra Baars
Leo: "Why move between the two countries? You seem to be leaving almost as soon as you've settled down."
Barbara: "Six months is a good time to get into the swing of things, settle in and have the luxury to leave again. For the first month of my sojourn in the Netherlands, I certainly enjoy all the conveniences: there's running water, never a fuel shortage, and the selection at the supermarket is phenomenal. Life in the Netherlands is much easier than in Gambia. Here, I can spend the weekend on the couch reading a book, but as soon as I'm in Gambia, I get all itchy to do things. There's always so much to do! But I've taught myself to slowdown. Now, I spend the first week settling in. I stay inside and watch how things progress, how people interact. Without judging. Then I get active."
Are there two Barbaras or really only one?
Leo: "You distance yourself? You don't get caught up in the small things that are going on, but look at the bigger picture?"
Barbara: "When you just get back, 'normal' things often become 'special' things. In the Netherlands, I share the things I notice with my colleagues. Here, I'm not a boss, but a consultant. It's a totally different role than the one I have in Gambia: leadership the African way. Or, in other words, giving instructions. In the beginning, I took others into consideration. I'd say 'would you please do this,' and it never got done. I discovered that they often say 'yes' to the person and 'no' to the task. That's something you need to realize. Leadership in Gambia is about using direct language. You have to repeat yourself a lot and be very patient if you want to get things done. I was once proudly shown a freshly painted guesthouse. The paint was on the walls, as well as on the floors, plants and woodwork. I pointed it out, but immediately noticed that I was only focusing on what was wrong. An then I come to the Netherlands, where my colleagues don't always appreciate my instructional leadership. I'm too direct and keep interfering. Now, I consciously keep my mouth shut when I arrive in the Netherlands and watch what's going on around me. I listen rather than act."
Running into your powerlessness
Leo: "What do you get out of living in these different worlds? Will you ever decide in favor of one?"
Barbara: No, I need the different cultures. Each culture demands something different of me. They give me different stimuli. Africa keeps confronting me with my powerlessness, and I learn a lot from that. But it hurts. You have to do what's possible, not what you want to do. In the Netherlands, you can get things done the way you want them done. That's not possible in Gambia. You have to go with the flow, accept people as they are, and be creative. For example, in Gambia, it takes two hours to cook rice. I've shown them at least 20 times how to save firewood, water and time, but the woman keeps saying: 'This is what I was taught.' This really frustrates me, because you don't have the power to change things. Were I alone in Africa, I probably would display typical colonial behavior: complaining and drinking. I'd become bitter and get lonely."
Family interests and medicine men
Leo: "What do your colleagues in Gambia think of you? She's got one of her ideas again?"
Barbara: "I like joking about it and give them a lot of other impulses. They enjoy it, and it arouses their curiosity. Most of them like learning new things, and I sometimes consciously give people new tasks. But I correct them a lot, too, and not everyone appreciates that. That could also be because I'm white and the boss' wife. If I were them, I'd be glad I was away every once in a while. Gambia is really different. In order to fire someone because they've stolen, you first have to negotiate with the family. And in West Africa, the marabout is very powerful. He's the spiritual leader, a medicine man, someone who interprets dreams and predicts the future. People are very afraid of being cursed. And you can get cursed simply because someone is jealous of your car! This fear slows down the development of the people and the community. But it is understandable. Life is fragile in Gambia; some people die quickly, although they were fine just 'yesterday'."